The Double Beauty Standard

 ( courtesy: www.pinterest.com)

Couple days ago, I chatted with a friend on Facebook. She told me that a friend of her asked her to do a plastic surgery because her friend thought my friend’s jawbone is too high. Furthermore, even the friend has insulted her that she would never be beautiful though she has a plastic surgery. Honestly, I saw nothing wrong with my friend’s appearance. She is beautiful the way she is. She is attractive the way she is. I think the one who has criticized my friend’s appearance is the one who is not comfortable the way she looks herself.

My friend and I were graduated from Faculty of Letters. As students of Faculty of Letters, Shakespeare’s sonnet was a part of the curriculum. I remember I had a final exam on Shakespeare’s sonnet, the sonnet 130.

Sonnet 130

My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun;

Coral is far more red than her lips’ red;

If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;

If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.

I have seen roses damask’d, red and white,

But no such roses see I in her cheeks;

And in some perfumes is there more delight,

Than in the breath that from my mistress reek.

I love to hear her speak, yet well I know

That music hath a far more pleasing sound;

I grant I never saw a goddess go;

My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:

And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare.

As any she belied with false compare.

(http://www.shakespeare-online.com/sonnets/130.html)

One of questions based on the sonnet was “Do you think the mistress is beautiful or not? Explain.” I answered that the mistress in the Sonnet 130 was an ugly lady since her eyes weren’t shining, her lips weren’t red, her cheeks weren’t rosy. She was smelly. She had awful voice. She didn’t have elegant regal posture. That’s all my answer and I got C on my final because I thought the mistress was ugly.

And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare.

As any she belied with false compare.

The last two lines show the real stature of the mistress in Sonnet 130. The sonnet has described the mistress in opposite way. As the mistress is belied with false compare, I was belied too with my own perspective.

Beauty is different in every culture and time. There’s a time in China that the lotus feet were the sign of beauty. In Europe, there’s a time when voluptuous bodies were the sign of beautiful women. In Korea, the double eyelids and pale skin are the standard beauty of women there. In Mauritania, the bigger the women, the more attractive they are. In Japan, the standard beauty is having crooked teeth. In Burma, the longer the neck, the more attractive the women are. See..?  Beauty is different in many standard.

Therefore, I think every woman is beautiful. It’s not right to judge women based on our own perspective. Whether the woman has double eyelids or not, skinny or big, tall or short; it’s not right to say to our friends or relatives that she is not beautiful enough because she doesn’t meet our own standard of beauty.

Furthermore, we also must not judge ourselves with the common standard of beauty. Beauty must come from within not just appearance. We must start to recreate our own standard of beauty and love ourselves first. If we are comfortable with ourselves, the feeling will flow out through our attitudes, our way of thinking and our way in treating others. We will be confident to be ourselves without comparing ourselves with others. I believe this thing will be more long lasting that just being beautiful physically.

Taking care of our appearance by exercising and eating healthy food is necessary too. As we have healthier body, we will be happier persons. When we are happier, our beauty will be enhanced. Who will you choose to hang out with among your friends: gloomy person or happier one? I believe most of people will choose the happier ones. Why so? Because we already have our ‘dragons’ to slay daily,  so we prefer to be with happier people with positive way of thinking to support us. Am I correct?

To be positive, you need to reform your way of thinking. The world is depressing already. Many troubles comes daily. To overcome the depressing world, you must have positive attitudes. The phrase “fear not” or “don’t be afraid” often shows up in the Bible. Bible actually has taught us to not worry too much and start to believe. When we start to believe and cast out our anxiety, we will be more positive and confident to tackle everyday’s challenge.

So, start to stick on the Words of God and practice it in our daily life. As the beauty is not just outside, but also inside.

Favour is deceiful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31: 30 – KJV)

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